Returning this week from Thanksgiving break, I found myself reflecting on the American habit of being thankful for what we have for one Thursday a year, but losing that focus for the remaining 364 days. Believe it or not, this relates to a particular field of psychology research; the field of Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology focuses on the understanding of positive emotions and traits, such as happiness, hope, courage, resilience, integrity, and self-control. The field of Positive Psychology goes deeper than just “positive thinking” and works to gather research to understand and enhance the development of positive traits to foster stronger communities and individuals. As parents and educators, I think most of us hope that our children will have qualities such as hope, resilience, and self-control. Research shows that there are strategies and activities that we can use to help develop positive qualities in children (and ourselves, too).
Some activities include:
What Went Well?- If you need a conversation starter for the child that does “nothing” at school every day, the question “What went well today?” can help. Having an open ended question encourages your child to share information. Focusing on the positives can help to develop resiliency and a positive attitude. It is important to remember that it doesn’t have to be something huge, like winning the lottery or breaking the record for the school’s fastest mile to have been something that went well. Learning to notice the smaller positive things in life, such as someone simply saying hello, a pretty sunrise, getting a question right in class, or making it safely home from work on a snowy day can change our perceptions. No matter how bad a day was, at least one thing went well.
Three Positive Things Journal- Often when I am talking to students who are struggling with depression, I encourage them to find three positive things that happen each day. Especially when one is feeling “down” this can be very hard to do, but is a good challenge for all of us. Keep a Positive Things Journal. Make two columns on the page. The first column lists three positive events each day and the second column is used to reflect on those things. Reflections can include: why did they happen? Why were they positive? How can I make them happen again?
Keep the Thankfulness coming- Hang a large sheet of paper in your house (on your fridge, on a bathroom door, next to your television….). Each member of your family should write or draw on the paper something they are thankful for. Keep it going all month with family members adding events, items, people, and qualities they are thankful for. This helps you to model a sense of gratitude (kids learn best by example), encourages children to think positively, and helps support the idea that we should appreciate the positive things in our lives for more than just Thanksgiving. At the end of the month make some family time to talk about all of the things that were written on the paper.
Share Your Thankfulness- Thank the people who add to our lives. You’ve shared at the Thanksgiving table what you are thankful for and kept track of these things for a month on a wall….Write a letter to someone who has given something you are thankful for. People to write to include: teachers, bus drivers, other school staff members, doctors, family members, neighbors, or friends to thank them for what they have appreciated. (If you mail the letters your child can get practice in writing addresses, too). Make a tradition to write a Thankful letter to mail along with the Letter to Santa.
Practicing Strengths- Every one of us has positive strengths to bring to the table. There are online quizzes that you and your children can take to help identify yours… or you can help to recognize them in each other. Some people are friendly or compassionate, other people are brave, some people are resilient and bounce back from difficult situations. Take some time to identify the positive traits that you and your family members have and think about how you use those strengths every day. Take some time daily or weekly for the family to share ways that you used your traits. If you see your child using a strength or positive trait, let them know. Writing that praise down can help encourage reading skills and create a cherished memento for your child. For a challenge, try to use a positive trait that does not come as naturally.
By taking simple steps to help our children think positively and recognize the strengths they see in themselves and others, we can help our children to develop a foundation of positive character traits that will help them in relationships, school achievement, and managing situations throughout their life.
Sources:
The National Association of School Psychologists www.nasponline.org
The Positive Psychology Center at UPenn www.positivepsychology.org
Authentic Happiness (UPenn) www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/home
Some activities include:
What Went Well?- If you need a conversation starter for the child that does “nothing” at school every day, the question “What went well today?” can help. Having an open ended question encourages your child to share information. Focusing on the positives can help to develop resiliency and a positive attitude. It is important to remember that it doesn’t have to be something huge, like winning the lottery or breaking the record for the school’s fastest mile to have been something that went well. Learning to notice the smaller positive things in life, such as someone simply saying hello, a pretty sunrise, getting a question right in class, or making it safely home from work on a snowy day can change our perceptions. No matter how bad a day was, at least one thing went well.
Three Positive Things Journal- Often when I am talking to students who are struggling with depression, I encourage them to find three positive things that happen each day. Especially when one is feeling “down” this can be very hard to do, but is a good challenge for all of us. Keep a Positive Things Journal. Make two columns on the page. The first column lists three positive events each day and the second column is used to reflect on those things. Reflections can include: why did they happen? Why were they positive? How can I make them happen again?
Keep the Thankfulness coming- Hang a large sheet of paper in your house (on your fridge, on a bathroom door, next to your television….). Each member of your family should write or draw on the paper something they are thankful for. Keep it going all month with family members adding events, items, people, and qualities they are thankful for. This helps you to model a sense of gratitude (kids learn best by example), encourages children to think positively, and helps support the idea that we should appreciate the positive things in our lives for more than just Thanksgiving. At the end of the month make some family time to talk about all of the things that were written on the paper.
Share Your Thankfulness- Thank the people who add to our lives. You’ve shared at the Thanksgiving table what you are thankful for and kept track of these things for a month on a wall….Write a letter to someone who has given something you are thankful for. People to write to include: teachers, bus drivers, other school staff members, doctors, family members, neighbors, or friends to thank them for what they have appreciated. (If you mail the letters your child can get practice in writing addresses, too). Make a tradition to write a Thankful letter to mail along with the Letter to Santa.
Practicing Strengths- Every one of us has positive strengths to bring to the table. There are online quizzes that you and your children can take to help identify yours… or you can help to recognize them in each other. Some people are friendly or compassionate, other people are brave, some people are resilient and bounce back from difficult situations. Take some time to identify the positive traits that you and your family members have and think about how you use those strengths every day. Take some time daily or weekly for the family to share ways that you used your traits. If you see your child using a strength or positive trait, let them know. Writing that praise down can help encourage reading skills and create a cherished memento for your child. For a challenge, try to use a positive trait that does not come as naturally.
By taking simple steps to help our children think positively and recognize the strengths they see in themselves and others, we can help our children to develop a foundation of positive character traits that will help them in relationships, school achievement, and managing situations throughout their life.
Sources:
The National Association of School Psychologists www.nasponline.org
The Positive Psychology Center at UPenn www.positivepsychology.org
Authentic Happiness (UPenn) www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/home